Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
