Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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