Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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