You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
