seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
