we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize