Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
