Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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