Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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