I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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