im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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