No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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