A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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