Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
