Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
