We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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