WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
