this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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