When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
