He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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