Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
