This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Two words: blizzard sex
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
