Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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