I must be too annoying 4 u.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
