JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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