Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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