dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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