woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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