I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
