Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
