i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
