I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize