The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
