I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
