OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
