You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
