Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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