im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
