i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
