At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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