escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
