Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
