The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
