How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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