Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
