I like to think it a success when the cops are called
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want her autograph on my taint
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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