i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
