dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
