ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
