gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
