i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
