he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
