its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
