Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
