how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
