i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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