Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
