Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
