Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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