giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
