so let's talk penis.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
