Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
