hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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