Just fell off a train. Bad.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
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