loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
