Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
