I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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