I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
