can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize