I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize