Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
