all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
