ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
