I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
