he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
