that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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