She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
