so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
