we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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