Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
