Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
