i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
