i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
