Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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