she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
