also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
