You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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